INDEPENDENT PUBLISHER OF BIZARRO FICTION SINCE 1999

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Call for submissions for new anthology edited by Bradley Sands

Bradley Sands will be editing a multi-author anthology called How to Win at Ultravision: A Strategy Guide for Video Games That Don’t Exist. The anthology will be published by Eraserhead Press in 2015. The project is inspired by Jeff Rovin’s How to Win at Nintendo Games and Jorge Luis Borges’ reviews of books that don’t exist.

Submissions are now open. Bradley Sands is looking for mini-strategy guides for games of your own invention. They must be in the range of 1000 words to 5000 words long. Text only. Payment is $10 and a contributor’s copy.

Email submissions to bradleysands@gmail.com

Here are some links to examples:

A page from How to Win at Nintendo Games: http://mlb-s1-p.mlstatic.com/nintendo-8-bit-livro-how-to-win-at-nintendo-jeff-rovin-1989-14250-MLB3283338864_102012-F.jpg

From The Ultimate Game Guide to Life:http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-ultimate-game-guide-to-your-life-your-adolescence

A piece written by Albie about a game that doesn’t exist. (I recommend cutting and pasting it into a MS Word document because it’s otherwise a bit difficult to read): http://www.lit.org/view/43210

Summer 2014 New Releases

Announcing the latest releases for Summer 2014 from Eraserhead Press. Fun new titles from Carlton Mellick III, Kevin L. Donihe and Shane McKenzie.

Sweet Story by Carlton Mellick III

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Sally is an odd little girl. It’s not because she dresses as if she’s from the Edwardian era or spends most of her time playing with creepy talking dolls. It’s because she chases rainbows as if they were butterflies. She believes that if she finds the end of the rainbow then magical things will happen to her–leprechauns will shower her with gold and fairies will grant her every wish. But when she actually does find the end of a rainbow one day, and is given the opportunity to wish for whatever she wants, Sally asks for something that she believes will bring joy to children all over the world. She wishes that it would rain candy forever. She had no idea that her innocent wish would lead to the extinction of all life on earth.

Sweet Story is a children’s book gone horribly wrong. What starts as a cute, charming tale of rainbows and wishes soon becomes a vicious, unrelenting tale of survival in an inhospitable world full of cannibals and rapists. The result is one of the darkest comedies you’ll read all year, told with the wit and style you’ve come to expect from a Mellick novel.

Buy now from Amazon.com
Buy now from Barnes & Noble
Buy now from Powell’s Books

Musclebound Mario by Kevin L. Donihe

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Marcus is a socially awkward, steroid-ridden bodybuilder who happens to be the biggest fan of the first Super Mario Bros. game…ever. His toilet seat lifts to reveal a Mario head. A picture of Shigeru Miyamoto, the inventor of the game, sits atop his TV. Now, clad in a Mario-printed outer and underwear, he ventures to a three-day social gathering of rabid Mario fanatics.

He dreams of finding long-lost brothers and sisters, of being able to talk to people who understand him. But forging life-long connections isn’t easy at a gathering lorded over by a living yet pixelated King Mario who keeps a silent and submissive Princess at his feet. Marcus is banished, and it seems all hope is lost until, via a combination of miracle and conscious choice, he becomes Musclebound Mario and enters the Mushroom Kingdom.
8-bit enemies are powerless against Musclebound Mario’s supernaturally swollen muscles and clenched fists larger than human heads. But it seems his arrival has unraveled the very fabric of the Kingdom itself. Worlds are squished together. Villains are hybrid patchworks, all in a trance. And no longer is the goal to save a Princess, but a Prince.
So he travels through strange worlds far removed from the characters and levels of the One True Game. Not easy for a man uncomfortable with things greater than 8-bits. But if order is to be restored to the kingdom and to the one thing he’s never known–himself–then a hero he must play.
From master of bizarro fiction, Kevin L Donihe, comes a surreal satire for video game fans and weird fiction junkies.
 
Buy now from Amazon.com
Buy now from Barnes & Noble
Buy now from Powell’s Books
 
 
 

Toilet Baby by Shane McKenzie

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 Be careful where you masturbate…

Grady learns this the hard way when he rubs one out in the bathroom and ends up knocking up his toilet. When the swollen latrine gives birth, Grady finds himself saddled with a toilet baby-a half-human half-porcelain monstrosity that yearns to be loved. But being a new father isn’t easy when your child is a toilet girl that feeds on human excrement and must be kept a secret from the rest of society.

Grady soon learns he isn’t the only one with this problem. There’s a hidden community of toilet people where fathers can live with their toilet children in peace. Unfortunately, their tranquil isolation cannot last forever. Kids will be kids and the toilet children are eager and curious to learn about the world and experiences that were always kept from them – no matter how dangerous they may be.

From the same deviant mind that brought you PUS JUNKIES and MUERTE CON CARNE comes a comedy about family and love born from the toilet bowl.

Buy now from Amazon.com
Buy now from Barnes & Noble
Buy now from Powell’s Books

Valentine’s Day Kindle Sale

Happy Valentine’s Day Bizarro Fiction fans! We love you! We love you so much we want to be inside your kindle. Caressing it. Stimulating the pixels on your e-ink displays. Which is why from now until February 20th, you can get the Kindle edition of the following NINE books for  just 99 cents each or  FREE if you purchase or have already purchased the paperback edition. Spread the love!

ERASERHEAD PRESS TITLES:

Fantastic Orgy by Carlton Mellick III

1936383802Kindle regularly $4.95, BUY NOW FOR $0.99

Shark women, mutant cats, and strange sexually transmitted diseases.

Over the past few decades, sexually transmitted diseases have evolved in unusual ways. Herpes, AIDS, Gonorrhea; these are all STDs of the past. These days, sexually transmitted diseases are more extreme and bizarre. Not exactly diseases anymore, they are more like sexually transmitted body modifications. There’s an STD that changes your hair color, an STD that causes your toes to grow larger, one causes you to grow extra breasts on your body, another causes your skin to grow long metal spikes, and there’s an especially annoying STD that causes you to ejaculate miniature eyeballs.

Tonight is Share Your STD Night at the Demon Seed Swingers Club. Although most members of society fear the idea of contracting these diseases, there are some underground deviants who embrace them. They believe the diseases make them strange, unique, and beautiful. So they come together once a month to trade their wonderful STDs with each other in a surreal, fantastical orgy. However, tonight will not be like other nights. There’s a new disease spreading through the sex club, a disease that causes people to become rabid bloodthirsty killing machines. As the infected rampage through the Demon Seed, the survivors realize there’s only one thing they can do to survive the night: turn their grotesque STDs into deadly super weapons.

Also featuring the short stories:

Candy-Coated – A buff dude with a lollipop for a head has a hard time picking up the laydaaays due to all of the bearded truckers who keep trying to lick his head.

Ear Cat – A Kitty of the Month Club selection gone horribly wrong.

City Hobgoblins – A member of a punk rock band falls in love with a shark-like creature. (a prequel to the cult novel Satan Burger)

Porno in August – A group of porn actors find themselves floating in the middle of the ocean, unable to remember who they are or why they are there. (Chosen for The Year’s Best Fantasy and Horror)

Die You Doughnut Bastards by Cameron Pierce

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Kindle regularly $6.95, BUY NOW FOR $0.99

“Like William S. Burroughs on crack!” – Thomas F. Monteleone, New York Times bestselling author

The bacon storm is rolling in. We hear the grease and sugar beat against the roof and windows. The doughnut people are attacking. We press close together, forgetting for a moment that we hate each other.

In Die You Doughnut Bastards, amputees, lonely young people, and talking animals struggle for survival against the freakish whims of nature. A typewriter made of fetuses is the source of woe for an expecting couple. A girl with a glass jaw hides an otherworldly secret. A demonic loner goes to a birthday party in Hell. You’ll encounter a killer in a marsupial mask, a prison for anorexics, haunted pancakes, and a songwriter with a cult following.

Surreal prose poems give way to personal accounts of alienation and modern love. Vegetarian narwhals are sold at the supermarket. And in a city that might be your own, zombie doughnuts are rising up. Kill yourself before they kill you. Or just kill yourself.

Featuring original illustrations in the style of Daniel Johnston, Die You Doughnut Bastards is the latest way to drown, brought to you by Wonderland Book Award-winning author Cameron Pierce.

Time Pimp by Garrett Cook

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Kindle regularly $4.95, BUY NOW FOR $0.99

“One part Doctor Who, one part Hustler Magazine, and the most fun you’ll have reading cosmic smut.”
– Jeff Burk, author of Shatnerquake

“A wonderfully ridiculous book . . . delivers imagination balanced by genuinely caring and adept writing.”
– Kris Saknussemm, author of The Humble Assessment

The Time Pimp has been saving the galaxy by getting history’s most important figures laid. From Caligula to Teddy Roosevelt, the Time Pimp has rolled up to the scene in his interstellar purple Cadillac and got them some ass. But a new power threatens the future of the Time Pimp – The Morality Front, a prudish force hell-bent on imposing its values on the galaxy. With the aid of the Death Pimp they will stop at nothing to end Free Love across time and space.

But the Time Pimp ain’t taking no shit from these jive-ass turkeys!

LAZY FASCIST TITLES

Basal Ganglia by Matthew Revert

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Kindle regularly $5.95, BUY NOW FOR $0.99

Basal Ganglia casts an unsettling spell, but one that in its aphoristic intensity and lightning-flash insights into human loneliness and connection, achieves a genuine empathic wisdom.” – SERGIO DE LA PAVA, author of A Naked Singularity

“Matthew Revert is one of the visionaries. What else can you say?” – SCOTT MCCLANAHAN, author of Hill William and Crapalachia

As teenagers, two lovers, Rollo and Ingrid, escape the world as it is known to live underground in a sprawling pillow fort that mirrors the structure of the human brain. Construction of the fort takes 25 years and once complete, their life exists to honor the fort in all it requires. Basal Ganglia begins countless years after they have become enslaved to the fort process. Rollo and Ingrid have lost any connection to their pasts and each other. Nothing exists beyond the patterns required by the fort. In an effort to become more than stasis, Ingrid expresses her desire to have a baby. Not wanting to subject another human to their strange world, she decides she will knit the baby using materials Rollo gathers from the fort. The emergence of this baby leads to paranoia between Rollo and Ingrid with both believing the other means the child harm. Within the confines of their cloistered world, the two engage in psychological warfare, desperately searching for a conclusion they don’t understand. As a result, they will find connection with their past, each other and the true nature of their identities.

The Obese by Nick Antosca

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Kindle regularly $4.95, BUY NOW FOR $0.99

Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds-with obese people.

Nina Gilten works in the fashion industry. She retouches images for Redbook, Teen Vogue, Chic, Marie Claire, and Nylon. Her work involves shaving off hipbones, masking moles, and giving more sheen to the lusterless skin of supermodels. In other words, she makes people beautiful. But when a vengeful houseguest forwards Nina’s private correspondence with her boss to popular feminist blog Jezebel, Nina finds herself jobless and ostracized.

Then rabid obese people start rampaging on the streets of New York.

Thrown together with her ex-boyfriend Chris and his fiancé, the gorgeous Molly Sweet, Ferdinand (a male model with a fat fetish), Chantal (also a model), and Dora (the vengeful houseguest who destroyed her career), Nina must fend for her life in a world where the people she hates most are now trying to eat her.

Lazy Fascist Press is proud to present The Obese, a bloody satire about body image and America’s obesity epidemic, written by Shirley Jackson Award-winner Nick Antosca.

Also featuring the bonus story “Predator Bait.”

The Collected Works of Scott McClanahan Vol. 1 by Scott McClanahan

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Kindle regularly $5.95, BUY NOW FOR $0.99

“Scott McClanahan is a powerful, exceptional writer, and the overall effect of reading his deceptively simple stories is like getting hit in the head by a champion cage fighter cranked up on meth that was cooked in a trailer without running water in some Kentucky backwoods where people sing murder ballads to their children to put them to sleep.”
-DONALD RAY POLLOCK, author of The Devil All the Time

“He might be one of the great southern storytellers of our time.”
-VOL. 1 BROOKLYN

“When I discovered the stories of Scott McClanahan last year, I was instantly enthralled with his natural storytelling voice and freaky funny tales. There’s no pretense to Scott’s work. It’s like you’re just dropped right into the middle of these fantastic and true stories. It’s like a sweet blend of my favorite southern writers, Larry Brown and Harry Crews. Reading McClanahan is like listening to a good friend telling you his best real-life stories on your back porch on a humid night. And you both got a nice whiskey buzz going.”
-KEVIN SAMPSELL, author of A Common Pornography

“McClanahan’s prose is unfettered and kinetic and his stories seem like a hyper-modern iteration of local color fiction. His delivery is guileless and his morality ambivalent and you get the sense, while reading him, that he is sitting next to you on a barstool, eating peanuts and drinking a beer, and intermittently getting up to pick a song on the jukebox.”
-THE RUMPUS

“Reads like Bukowski with more surprises.”
-IMPOSE MAGAZINE

DEADITE PRESS TITLES

Genital Grinder by Ryan Harding

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Kindle regularly $4.95, BUY NOW FOR $0.99

“Think you’re hardcore? Think again. If you’ve handled everything Edward Lee, Wrath James White, and Bryan Smith have thrown at you, then put on your rubber parka, spread some plastic across the floor, and get ready for Ryan Harding, the unsung master of hardcore horror. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. Harding’s work is like an acid bath, and pain has never been so sweet.” – Brian Keene

“Enjoy the tour, friends. Enjoy the gang-bang. You may need psych drugs afterwards, you may need an air-sick bag and a steam shower, but I feel confident that you will be provocatively moved by this book.” – Edward Lee, from his introduction

Genital Grinder collects the most sought after and most extreme fiction from the diamond in the puke – Ryan Harding.

 

 

 

Like Porno for Psychos by Wrath James White

1936383845Kindle regularly $4.95, BUY NOW FOR $0.99

“Violent, erotic, blasphemous, and extreme.” -Fear Zone
“Without apologies, White tears through your emotions, from sympathy to hate, humor to shock…” -Horror Web
From a world-ending orgy to home liposuction. From the hidden desires of politicians to a woman with a fetish for lions. This is a place where necrophilia, self-mutilation, and murder are all roads to love.
Like Porno for Psychos collects the most extreme erotic horror from the celebrated hardcore horror master. Wrath James White is your guide through sex, death, and the darkest desires of the heart.

 

 

 

 

 

Dark Hollow by Brian Keene

1621050300Kindle regularly $7.95, BUY NOW FOR $0.99

Something very strange is happening in LeHorn’s Hollow…
Eerie, piping music is heard late at night, and mysterious fires have been spotted deep in the woods. Women are vanishing without a trace overnight, leaving behind husbands and families.
When up-and-coming novelist Adam Senft stumbles upon an unearthly scene, it plunges him and the entire town into an ancient nightmare. Folks say the woods in LeHorn’s Hollow are haunted, but what waits there is far worse than any ghost. It has been summoned…and now it demands to be satisfied.

New Releases Winter 2014

Eraserhead Press is pleased to bring you three of the funnest bizarro fiction books of the season!

HUNGRY BUG by Carlton Mellick III
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From master of bizarro fiction Carlton Mellick III, author of the international cult hits Satan Burger and Adolf in Wonderland, comes a gritty urban fantasy unlike anything you’ve read before.

In a world where magic exists, spell-casting has become a serious addiction. It ruins lives, tears families apart, and eats away at the fabric of society. Those who cast too much are taken from our world, never to be heard from again. They are sent to a realm known as Hell’s Bottom — a sorcerer ghetto where everyday life is a harsh struggle for survival. Porcelain dolls crawl through the alleys like rats, arcane scientists abduct people from the streets to use in their ungodly experiments, and everyone lives in fear of the aristocratic race of spider people who prey on citizens like vampires.

Told in a series of interconnected stories reminiscent of Frank Miller’s Sin City and David Lapham’s Stray Bullets, Carlton Mellick III’s Hungry Bug is an urban fairy tale that focuses on the real life problems that arise within a fantastic world of magic.
Buy Now!

PUS JUNKIES by Shane McKenzie

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Kip has the worst case of acne that anyone has ever seen. Zits cover his entire body; his skin is aflame with bright red, pus-filled sores. He has become an outcast in his school and the other kids call him Toad.

But what they don’t know is the pus leaking from Kip’s acne is actually a powerful narcotic that produces strong psychedelic effects. Soon, everyone in school will want a taste of his hallucinogenic cream and this former-loser will become the most popular kid in school. But once you lick the Toad, there’s no going back to normal drugs. His classmates just can’t get enough. And as their addiction grows, they will stop at nothing to get it…

In the spirit of Street Trash and Class of Nukem’ High comes a novel about growing up, finding yourself, and tripping on bodily fluids. Shane McKenzie and Eraserhead Press present a bizarro high school drama drenched in Technicolor-splatter!

Buy Now!

BIGFOOT COP by Kevin Shamel

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He’s huge. He’s hairy. He’s pissed off and he’s got a badge. He’s Bigfoot Cop.

Bigfoot is a renegade detective on the edge. He’s no longer the tranquil solitary creature of legend; he’s now a foot-stomping, car-flipping crime fighter who can’t stop ripping everyone’s fucking arms off when he gets mad.

After he destroys an entire city block while trying to apprehend a group of petty criminals, the police chief transfers him to Missing Persons and assigns him a new partner he doesn’t want – Lyle Straits, a crotchety by-the-book detective who is allergic to animal dander. The unlikely duo is tasked with solving the rising number of local disappearances (mostly redheads). But what starts as a routine investigation turns into the biggest case the world has ever seen.

From the author of Island of the Super People and Rotten Little Animals comes a buddy-cop comedy for the bizarro fiction reader.

Buy Now!

Bizarro Holiday Kindle Sale

To celebrate the holidays, Eraserhead Press is offering  ten of our most popular kindle titles from all of our imprints  for just $0.99!

Zo1936383195mbies and Shit by Carlton Mellick III

Battle Royale meets Return of the Living Dead in this post-apocalyptic action adventure.

Twenty people wake to find themselves in a boarded-up building in the middle of the zombie wasteland. They soon discover they have been chosen as contestants on a popular reality show called Zombie Survival. Each contestant is given a backpack of supplies and a unique weapon. Their goal: be the first to make it through the zombie-plagued city to the pick-up zone alive. But because there’s only one seat available on the helicopter, the contestants not only have to fight against the hordes of the living dead, they must also fight each other.

Zombies and Shit is Mellick’s craziest book to date. A campy, trashy, punk rock gore fest that is as funny as it is brutal, as sad as it is strange. An edge-of-your-seat thrill ride that twists the zombie genre into something you’ve never seen before, but always wanted to.

This edition features an introduction by master of horror BRIAN KEENE.

Kindle regularly $7.95. Buy now for just $0.99 through Dec. 31st

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Shatnerquest by Jeff Burk

William Shatner? William Shatner. William Shatner!
After the apocalypse, three Star Trek fans and their morbidly obese cat embark on a quest to save their beloved idol, the one and only William Shatner, from the hostile world America has become.

But their journey will not be easy, for the wasteland is filled with cannibal cults, Klingon biker gangs, Zombie Borg, and all manner of mutant creatures. And once they arrive at their destination, they discover that William Shatner has been transformed into Shatzilla – a giant 100-story radioactive monster hell-bent on destroying all of Los Angeles.

Now instead of saving Shatner from this new apocalyptic world, these three fans must save the world from this new apocalyptic Shatner. If only there was another giant monster who could take him down…

From the author who brought you the cult hit Shatnerquake, comes another Shat-tastic sci-fi comedy that proves once and for all that there actually is something even bigger than William Shatner’s ego. And it is… William Shatner!

Kindle regularly $4.95. Buy now for just $0.99 through Dec. 31st.

1936383977Amazing Stories of the Flying Spaghetti Monster edited by Cameron Pierce

On the seventh day, the Flying Spaghetti Monster said, “Read me, for I am good.”

In Amazing Stories, the Flying Spaghetti Monster goes on trial to earn his godhood among a council of deities that includes Jehovah, the Buddha, Ganesh, Cthulhu, and Charlie Sheen. He is interviewed for an exclusive episode of the celebrity talk show In the Monster’s Studio to discuss his relationship with Godzilla and other famous monsters. He rears his head at an archeological dig in a desert wasteland and dines with a horde of food demons in Hell. He rescues pirates, authors, and prisoners from the cold hand of death while banishing children to suffering and starvation. He is a just god, but only if you compliment his vodka sauce.

Like an all-spaghetti evening of Adult Swim, Amazing Stories of the Flying Spaghetti Monster will show you the many realms of His Noodly Appendage. Learn of those who worship him and the lives he touches in distant, mysterious ways.

Enjoy with Italian food and a side of Darwinism.

Featuring stories by John Skipp, Stephen Graham Jones, Kate Bernheimer, S.G. Browne, Cody Goodfellow, Mykle Hansen, Kevin L. Donihe, Bradley Sands, Jeffrey Thomas, Kelli Owen, and many more.

Kindle regularly $7.95.  Buy now for just $0.99 through Dec. 31st.

1936383772Hurt Others by Sam Pink

Oh man, it just had to happen. Someone had to be a bagger at a grocery store and fantasize about hitting children in the head with wine bottles. Someone had to fear a puddle floating at him from across the street. Someone had to celebrate beating up a pregnant woman. Someone just HAD to be a nanny, and stare at giant motorized spiders.

Jeez oh man!

Don’t ask why a teenager in a Chicago Bulls overcoat is feeding baby rabbits to a toad. Don’t ask why someone had to run around the backyard with a bedsheet cape after drinking moonshine. And don’t ask why jumping down stairs feels like success.

Just sit back, drink a piss-infused Bloody Mary, and learn to hurt others.

Kindle regularly $6.95.  Buy now for just $0.99 through Dec. 31st.

1621051234 Motherfucking Sharks by Brian Allen Carr

Motherfucking Sharks reads like it was carved into the floor of a sun-baked desert by an old testament prophet with a thirsty knife.” – BEN LOORY, author of Stories for Nighttime and Some for the Day

Where I come from, the children sing a song:

Oh the motherfucking sharks Oh they’re gonna come to town Oh they’re gonna kill the babies Oh they’re gonna make you drowned in your blood

Oh the motherfucking sharks Oh they’re gonna mince the flesh They’re gonna swim up and surround you Don’t you know you’ll never pass the test it’s over

Oh the motherfucking sharks Oh they don’t care about the gods And they don’t care about the families And they don’t care about the cries or tears they’re killers.

Motherfucking sharks Motherfucking sharks Motherfucking sharks Motherfucking sharks

Kindle regularly $4.95.  Buy now for just $0.99 through Dec. 31st.

1621050912The Collected Works of Noah Cicero Vol. 1

by Noah Cicero

The supreme introduction to the neurosis of Noah Cicero, The Collected Works of Noah Cicero Vol. I contains the early masterpieces by the greatest minimalist writer ever to hail from Youngstown, Ohio. Collecting Noah Cicero’s most acclaimed and popular works, this volume includes the short novels The Human War (soon to be a major motion picture), The Doomed, The Condemned, and Burning Babies, along with rare novellas and short stories that have not been available to the public in years. Stark in their beauty, raw in their sadness, and driven by a desperate compulsion to save – and be saved by – humanity, The Collected Works of Noah Cicero Vol. I highlights what it is to be young and poor in America. Buy this book and learn why freedom is good. Buy this book and become beautiful. Buy this book and know that the distance between you and happiness is the distance between you and the nearest Denny’s. So get in the car and drive.

Kindle regularly $7.95.  Buy now for just $0.99 through Dec. 31st.

 

E1621050599arthworm Gods by Brian Keene

THE CULT CLASSIC RETURNS!!!

One day, it starts raining-and never stops. Global super-storms decimate the planet, eradicating most of mankind. Pockets of survivors gather on mountaintops, watching as the waters climb higher and higher. But as the tides rise, something else is rising, too.

Now, in the midst of an ecological nightmare, the remnants of humanity face a new menace, in a battle that stretches from the rooftops of submerged cities to the mountaintop islands jutting from the sea. What hope does an already-devastated mankind have against this new supernatural adversary.

The old gods are dead. Now is the time of the Earthworm Gods…

Deadite Press is proud to present this Author’s Preferred Edition of Earthworm Gods, including an all-new, lengthy afterword by the author recounting the novel’s inspiration, creation, and history.

Kindle regularly $7.95. Buy now for just $0.99 through Dec. 31st.

1936383365Whargoul by Dave Brockie (aka Oderus Urungus of GWAR)

I Destroyed Your Life I Raped Your Wife I Am the Fucking Whargoul From the killing grounds of Stalingrad to the death camps of the holocaust.

From torture chambers in Iraq to race riots in the United States, the Whargoul was there – killing and raping. It is a beast born in bullets and shrapnel, feeding off of pain, misery, and hard drugs. Cursed to wander the Earth without the hope of death, it is reborn again and again to spread the gospel of hate, abuse, and genocide.

But what if it’s not the only monster out there? What if there’s something worse? From Dave Brockie, the twisted genius behind GWAR, comes a novel about the darkest days of the twentieth century. The modern world is dying and Brockie is here to put a bullet between its eyes and violate the corpse. This is all-out fucking war!

Kindle regularly $7.95. Buy now for just $0.99 through Dec. 31st.

 

1621050610 Header by Edward Lee

What is a Header?

In the dark backwoods, where law enforcement doesn’t dare tread, there exists a special type of revenge. Something so awful that it is only whispered about. Something so terrible that few believe it is real.

Stewart Cummings is a government agent whose life is going to Hell. His wife is ill and to pay for her medication he turns to bootlegging. But things will get much worse when bodies begin showing up in his sleepy small town. Victims of an act known only as “a Header.”

Deadite Press is proud to bring back the notorious inspiration for the hit cult film – a splatterspunk classic of twisted sex, booze, and revenge.

Kindle regularly $4.95. Buy now for just $0.99 through Dec. 31st.

 

artisthedevil_lgArt is the Devil by John Skipp

When two young badass women stop by an insane Charlie Sheen-based art
exhibit, their night of mind-warping horror is only beginning.
Splatterpunk legend John Skipp delivers the high-voltage hardcore
thrills in this outrageous, bodacious short story.

Buy now for just $0.99

New Releases: The New Bizarro Author Series 2013

We are proud to announce the release of seven new books in The New Bizarro Author Series!

The NBAS is a series of first books by first time authors. Eraserhead Press publishes a new batch annually each Fall, and the series is now in its fifth year. Over this time the series has gives us an opportunity to introduce you to new writers, and to introduce them into the world of being an author. Throughout the next year, we’ll be watching readers’ response to these books to determine if these will be authors that we’ll want to continue working with in the future. Over the past five years it’s been a lot of fun to see the reaction to the books in the series, because we are taking a risk with new writers that you’ve never heard of before and we get to see if they have what it takes to win you over. From this series, some of the strongest voices in Bizarro Fiction have emerged over the years such as Patrick Wensink who went on to write Broken Piano for President, last year’s best seller on Lazy Fascist Press, Steve Lowe whose new book You Are Sloth! just came out and Kirsten Alene  whose latest book Japan Conquers the Galaxy has been a hit amongst fans. Thank you for taking a chance on these new writers and supporting this series. We hope that you will enjoy this year’s offerings as much as we do.

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The world is rotting away. Bodies are melting, buildings dissolving and it’s only a matter of time before the world completely disintegrates.

Despite the world rotting away, lovers Isobel and Dresden are fighting for the future, and their wedding day. Unfortunately, the rotting world isn’t their only challenge. Dresden’s mother is a wealthy woman with powerful secrets who wants only the best wife for Dresden, and Isobel isn’t it.

Dresden’s mother has him kidnapped and held hostage so he’ll not only miss his wedding, but alters him so he’ll survive the rotting world and live with her forever.

It’s up to Isobel to search the apocalyptic world for Dresden while he fights his mother’s mansion of horrors. If luck is on their side, Isobel and Dresden may be able to find one another before the world completely disappears.

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Tom Clay is an average American guy–he’s a school teacher with a normal life, a wonderful wife and kid.

Until the day the mysterious Mondo Vixens bust down his door. There’s punk vixens, bikini vixens, devil vixens, clown vixens, preppie vixens, pirate vixens and a sadistic nurse vixen. They whip out the cat ‘o nine tails, torture Tom for mysterious reasons and kidnap his wife — brainwashing her into joining the vixens.

Dying and with only hours to live, Tom enlists the help of a rogue vixen to go on one last bloody rampage, destroying any vixen that gets in his way. He’s going to avenge his family, rescue his wife, and solve the mystery of the mondo vixen massacre.

In a world where humanoid bulls patrol the street, wormholes and portals make up children’s playgrounds, and flying turtles produce the most delicious bacon, Margy Plum and Victor Vance are quite content with playing old school video games and designing 8-bit chickens. When they find a cheat code to a strange game called Adamina, neither are prepared to see their video game exploits on the streets of their own town. To their horror, they have discovered a game that controls the universe.

Before they can even choose an alignment, their world erupts into madness-mutated memes terrorize the streets, clouds fall from the sky and giant balloon animals piss on park trees. Victor and Margy flee to the lands of the old internet, where the dunes are riddled with bandit viruses, the saloons are filled with Japanese porn, and Lolcats roam the dusty plains.

While there, they discover a secret. A secret that twists all they know and believe, one that threatens their entire existence. It’s up to Victor and Margy, controlling the fate of everything and everyone, to find the equation at the heart of the universe before they’re ripped from their lives.

No Woman Could Change His Ways, Only His Diaper…

When Marrowburg’s most fearsome gangster, Kid Phoenix, gets gunned down behind Stripping Through History (a titty bar that combines nudity with feminist history), there is a silver lining: he gets a second chance at life. Coming back as Baby Jaydon, whose perpetual five o’clock shadow and penchant for swearing aren’t going to win him any friends on the playground, he’s adopted by a well-to-do family and goes to live in the suburbs with no memory of his former life. But after a chance run-in with his ex-henchman, Ram Bountybar, Baby Jaydon begins to recall fragments of his former underworld life. He forsakes his quiet existence of building blocks and afternoon naps to find out who put five slugs in his back behind Stripping Through History. With the help of Ram and Kid’s former moll, Ruby Redd, who’s now a nun, Baby Jaydon goes on a dangerous journey through Marrowburg’s twisted underworld to find out who killed him. Blood and formula flow as Baby Jaydon, Ram, and Ruby Redd encounter onion and chive-scented mobsters, rabid ocelots, and the world’s angriest travel agent.

16210512428-Bit Apocalypse by Amanda Billings

A giant Atari gaming cartridge attacks the heart of downtown Denver, causing mass destruction by bringing classic games to life.

Trains turn into giant centipedes, citizens must cross busy roads by jumping across the tops of moving cars, and vehicles levitate over the city, shooting electricity at the people below. It’s up to Jimmy Toledo, Chuck E. Cheese employee and former gaming prodigy, to fight back against the games. But first he must overcome his crippling social anxiety, the crushing memory of his past failures, and his worthlessness as a human being.

Does Jimmy have the skillz to save the girl from the Donkey Kong game and reach the final level-the kill screen?

1621051226Grambo by Dustin Reade

Martha is just like any other granny–she wears shawls, rides a scooter, likes a nice lunch after church (thank you Jesus!), and she loves the Supermall almost as much as she loves her family.

Until the day her entire beloved family is slain by bloodthirsty school teachers when her grandson loses the crucial championship basketball game. Martha is left for dead, and with nothing left to live for.

But unlike other grannies, Martha’s not going to take this massacre lying down! With the help of the Mascots, a race of living sports mascots, Martha trains to become vengeance on her family’s murderers. Whether this means slaughtering cheerleaders, raping the principle, or giving truck drivers a bit of road head, Martha’s ready to do whatever it takes to go Grambo!

1621051196
Graveyard shift at the appliance cemetery wouldn’t be so rough on Jeremy if his head wasn’t turning into a television. Having his head turn into a TV might not be so bad if there wasn’t a fanatical cult out to kidnap him and force him to father their savior. Luckily for Jeremy, he’s got a talking dog with an attitude and a very pregnant sexy cult member on his side as he fights back against The Church of TV as God.

New Releases Fall 2013

This season we bring you three new  hard-hitting bizarro fiction novels: CLUSTERFUCK by Carlton Mellick III, DEATH MACHINES OF DEATH by Vince Kramer and TIME PIMP by Garrett Cook.

162105117XCLUSTERFUCK by Carlton Mellick III

A bunch of douchebag frat boys get trapped in a cave with subterranean cannibal mutants and try to survive not by using their wits but by following the bro code . . .

From master of bizarro fiction Carlton Mellick III, author of the international cult hits Satan Burger and Adolf in Wonderland, comes a violent and hilarious B movie in book form. Set in the same woods as Mellick’s splatterpunk satire Apeshit, Clusterfuck follows Trent Chesterton, alpha bro, who has come up with what he thinks is a flawless plan to get laid. He invites three hot chicks and his three best bros on a weekend of extreme cave diving in a remote area known as Turtle Mountain, hoping to impress the ladies with his expert caving skills.

But things don’t quite go as Trent planned. For starters, only one of the three chicks turns out to be remotely hot and she has no interest in him for some inexplicable reason. Then he ends up looking like a total dumbass when everyone learns he’s never actually gone caving in his entire life. And to top it all off, he’s the one to get blamed once they find themselves lost and trapped deep underground with no way to turn back and no possible chance of rescue. What’s a bro to do? Sure he could win some points if he actually tried to save the ladies from the family of unkillable subterranean cannibal mutants hunting them for their flesh, but fuck that. No slam piece is worth that amount of effort. He’d much rather just use them as bait so that he can save himself.

It’s Tucker Max versus The Descent in this gore-filled comedy for the camp horror fan.

ImageDEATH MACHINES OF DEATH by Vince Kramer

All machines suddenly come to life for some reason and go on a rampage to kill every human being on the planet. It’s kind of like that movie Maximum Overdrive, only ten time as fucking brutal!

Welcome to the Big Old Gaylord Opryland Resort! Do you lack the energy to get a date? Are you batshit insane and looking for a cure? Are you a pants-shitting senior who wants to stop being old? Do you hate Stephen King? Then, this weekend, there’s a seminar for you! Sure, there’s a comet flying through space bringing all machinery to life and killing everybody, but don’t worry about that! Here, have a sandwich! Visit our many attractions! See our massive convention center (of death), our beautiful atrium (of death), and our arcade (of death)! Ignore the massive senior citizen orgy. Don’t talk to the kid in the wheelchair. We guarantee the elevator will not transform you into a cyborg. Mr. Coffee isn’t trying to kill you. And there is absolutely nothing suspicious going on in the basement. (Don’t go down there though, seriously).

Take a load off, have a good time, and prepare to die!

Death Machines of Death is an apocalyptic horror comedy by Vince Kramer that just so happens to be a million times better than anything you’ve ever read before. And if you think for one minute that those boring literary classics like The Great Gatsby or Moby Dick are better than this, then you’re fucking stupid!

ImageTIME PIMP by Garrett Cook

“One part Doctor Who, one part Hustler Magazine, and the most fun you’ll have reading cosmic smut.”
– Jeff Burk, author of Shatnerquake

“A wonderfully ridiculous book . . . delivers imagination balanced by genuinely caring and adept writing.”
– Kris Saknussemm, author of The Humble Assessment

The Time Pimp has been saving the galaxy by getting history’s most important figures laid. From Caligula to Teddy Roosevelt, the Time Pimp has rolled up to the scene in his interstellar purple Cadillac and got them some ass. But a new power threatens the future of the Time Pimp – The Morality Front, a prudish force hell-bent on imposing its values on the galaxy. With the aid of the Death Pimp they will stop at nothing to end Free Love across time and space.

But the Time Pimp ain’t taking no shit from these jive-ass turkeys!

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